Confused....please help

Posted by: confused
17/05/07 at 12:19 pm

I am a 25 yr old female who has been married for just over a year...

My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 1 year before we got married, and I think I felt pressured for her to see me married before she died. She did all the wedding preperations and I think it was the only thing that kept her going. A few times before the marriage I wondered whether I was doing the right thing, but she was so excited I guess I just went with the flow...she kept saying that she had told her Oncologist that whatever happened she wanted to be alive for the wedding.

Needless to say my mom made it to the wedding and died two months later, i really believe my wedding was what kept her going. Since her death I have been absolutely devastated and have been trying to come to terms with it, and so haven't had much time to concentrate on my 'marriage'. Now that Im beginning to accept her death, I have been able to concentrate on other things - how I feel about my marriage for a start...I feel like I rushed into something when I was really young, and not quite ready. I know that I love my husband but I dont think I am attracted to him anymore, we dont make love regularly (in fact once in 3 months is probably a lot), which is just not healthy considering we've only been married a year.

Im really confused because I dont want to hurt him and I dont know what to do. We seem to want different things (he is 7 years older than me and ready to 'settle down', but i still feel like there is a lot I want to achieve before I do that)...is it worth trying to save this relationship - there has been no adultery or abuse (although he does have an AWFUL temper) so I feel like im in the wrong here...

Please help...