Worried sick

Posted by: tissuesneeded
23/09/08 at 2:50 pm

HI there, my situation is killing me.  I will try and keep this short.  I have a 9 year marriage and total 15 year relationship; we cohabited before marriage.  We have a 12 year old daughter.  I am 35, xtb is 47.  He moved out of MH 4 years ago and I have solely paid all the mortgage since June 04 and upkeep, maintenance to MH.  No financial help from xtb at all, apart from CM which has been identified as £122 a month shortfall for the last 4 years.  We earn around the same salary.  He lives in rented accomodation but stays with his partner on a very regular basis.  He wants 50/50 split and because my solicitor says he is not entitled to it he and his solicitor) are dragging me through court.  I have offered 30% of equity but it has been rejected.  Xtb claims he wants 50% or an order to sell MH.  His solicitor has told him I am not entitled to any of his pension.  His pension is £76K CETV, mine is £2K.  The equity in the house is approx £68K.  We have exchanged Eforms and he has missed out relevant information.  We have attended 1st appoint, and the judge addressed us and told us to go away and come up with an agreement between us.  His solicitor has rejected mediation verbally on the telephone to my solicitor and 2 other times in writing.  Things have become very difficult and xtb will not talk to me and arranges things with our daughter that often do not fall in with my plans.  On overnight visits he takes her to his partners home and has done since Dec07.  There are no bed facilities for her and she has to sleep on a campbed in the same bedroom xtb shares with his new partner.  This sickens me terribly.  I would prefer she stayed at home with me.  He  has stated on his Eform that he does not cohabit with his new partner and does not intend to within the next 6 months.  The walk in/built in wardrobe is full of his clothes and I have driven most mornings in the last 6 weeks to her house and taken pics of his car outside.  The FDR is coming up and I am terrified my daughter and I will loose our home.  I have tried desperately to get him to accept the 30% is exchange for no claim on his pension but he wont have it.  He said his solicitor says 50% or court.  I am terrified of going back to court.  Terrifed I am going to loose my home.  He has told me to swing for CM shortfall.  I thought everything goes into a 'pot' and shared out, incl pensions?  Surely I will be awarded more than 50%.  My solicitor has stopped being very forthcoming.  I am at my wits end. I cannot give him 50%.  Does anyone know a likely outcome?  I know that it is up to the judge on the day, but surely they wont make me sell my daughters home???