childeren in the middle

Posted by: mum33
17/03/10 at 6:07 pm

Hi, I am a mother of three (10,7 and 3 years old) and separeted from their dad in november 2008. As he refused to move out of our family home and it was impossible to carry on living together, I moved out with the childeren in May 2009. Merriage has been a very difficult one for the last 5 years. We tried Relate, talking, arguing... none of worked. Once I made my mind up and told him that I that was it, he has been up and down emotionaly and in his behavior. Main reasons for this divorce is basicly his behavior towards me and controling personalty.We have been to counselling after I asked to separate and he finaly agreed to try to make this bad stuation as easy as possible for everbody, especially for the childeren. Unfortunately what he says is different than what he does and we have been struggling ever since. We also been to mediation and recently the mediator has said there is nothing she colud do for us as my ex does not even exept the fact his behaviour is the thing stopping us to reach any desicion( this includes taking me to court accusing me of trying to kidnap our kids, which was not true and reporting me to social services saying kids were in danger with me which caused so much upset and sc is has interviewed the kids and closed the case as that was not true, iether) . I now feel totally helpless as I am not sure when and how he'll attact next. He doesn't seem to stop at any cost and doesn't realy put the kids best interest first. I feel like I am bombarded with all this and Getting harder and harder to consantrate what is important which is the kids. What can I do to stop him behaving like this. He doesn't take anybody's advice unless it is what he wants. He thinks what he knows is the truth and the best way of doing things. And he treats every body the same.The counseller we saw for 5-6 months ,every week said "he has a way of punishing me when he doesn't get his own way" and that is what is he doing since I said he couldn't treat me like the way he was and I had enough. He thinks he is doing all this to me but accually putting the kids in the middle and they are the ones who suffers the consequences. Who can help me?