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how often can i legally see my children

Posted by: BFG
01/07/08 at 4:19 pm

I have been seperated from my wife for 4 months now. I have still been playing an active part in my childrens life, e.g bayby sitting, watch them at their swimming lessons and having them stay with me at weekends, I call them in the morning before school and at a evening before bed.  My wife called me on Monday and told me not to call or to visit them, My eldest girl who is 7 is upset because I am not coming back, so my wife says that she needs some healing time and that could be anything up to 3 weeks or more.  I think this is B*****ks and although my little girl may be upset at times , my wife can only be hurting them both more by not letting there father see them. My wife said that if they ask why I have not called she will tell them i am to busy with work. I am heart broken because I am very close to my 2 childern,  CAN SHE DO THIS?    I would like to know your thoughts please

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There are currently 3 replies.

Re: how often can i legally see my children

Posted by: newby
01/07/08 at 8:12 pm

Hi It interesting to see that im not the only dad out there who whats to be active with their kids. The answer to your question is that your wife can not tell you that you cant see them. The only reason she can do this,is if she thinks they are in harms way.

You still have parental right in everything and any decsion that involve your children. Any judge in the UK will agree with this time and time again.

However, if you decide to give her this space it might make her realise what a big part you play in your kids lives and that its not only their feelings that are being hurt but yours too.

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Re: how often can i legally see my children

Posted by: singlemum
03/07/08 at 8:53 pm

Do not allow her to do this. This sounds very much like the beginning of parental alienation! My boyfriend has had years of hell not seeing his kids because of their mother insisting at the start that it was in kids best interest not to see him for a while. Your daughter needs you in her life. I would see a solicitor asap and get it sorted.

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Re: how often can i legally see my children

Posted by: Suzanne Kingston, partner, Dawson's Solicitors
07/07/08 at 1:55 pm

There is no legal definition of how often children should see their non resident parent, as each case is specific to its circumstances. There are however recognised contact patterns depending on the child’s age and practicalities such as the location of the child’s school, and how close the parents live to each other.

 

Whilst it is possible to have a formal agreement or court order setting out exactly when you are going to see the children, the courts, and lawyers, would be very reluctant to get involved in this because the court’s opinion is that it is better for the parents to sort out issues relating to children themselves, because this almost always leads to a solution which is more workable for the family as a whole. The court acts under a “no order principle” in relation to children, which means it will not make an order unless it is in the child’s best interests to do so.

 

It is likely that you will need professional help to reach a conclusion, although it would not be professional legal advice in the first instance, but someone who can help you talk through the issues and reach a suitable conclusion. A good place to look for someone suitable would be from the Resolution website which is an organization of family lawyers. There are also many people that you could speak to for counseling, if you think this would be useful, and your local citizens advice bureau, or Relate may be a good starting point.

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