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my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: martini88
08/01/07 at 9:48 am

after 21 years of marriage my wife says she does not love me anymore )she was 22 when we married and I was 35) we have two boys  18 and 16.

She wants to leave me because she says she is not excited by me anymore , I still love her unfortunately. and have never been unfaithful to her.

I need to know my rights. I love the house we live in on the mendips which she wants to sell (we own it jointly although I bought it ) do I have to sell it ? I have offered to rent or buy her a small place so that she can live under a seperate roof , but she is not prepared to leave (she has taken advice from a solicitor)

She will not consider councelling and is making my life quite difficult by being cold , hard and quite frankly... a bully !

any advice would be helpful !

There are currently 9 replies.

Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: Anonymous
08/01/07 at 3:57 pm

Your situation is very difficult as I know only too well from my own experiences. When my husband and I were on the verge of splitting, we argued over our house. He was very keen to sell it but I wanted to stay.  We were barely speaking but I managed to get a joint friend to talk to him as our children did not want to leave the family home. I do think you also need to see a solicitor as soon as possible to ascertain your rights. Knowledge is power and whilst going to a solicitor is scary, at least you may get information that would help you when dealing with your wife. If at all possible try not to get into a confrontational situation as this will make it even harder to come to some sort of agreement.

Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: Dr E
08/01/07 at 5:34 pm

Yep, even if that means involving a third party to speak to them on your behalf. My friend when he got divorced kept the house, by buying his ex-wife out, which was done through solicitors. That should be the first port of call, as the e-mail above says, knowledge is power, and unfortunately, whilst solicitors aren't exactly top of my Christmas Card list, when it comes to this kind of thing, they can make some suggestions. Shop around though, word of mouth is useful in finding a good solicitor, and the one I went to, had a reduced rate for the initial consultation, so I at least managed to get some good advice a bit cheaper...

Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: Anonymous
08/01/07 at 5:48 pm

You need to see a family law solicitor and perhaps consider mediation too. Essentially the children come first and in a long marriage, a starting point is usually 50/50 including division of property, assets and pensions. provision for the children depends on whether they are still in education.

If there is enough in the pot for you to keep the house, then some agreement could be made. If it is the largest asset, then compromise is the key word. Sometimes moving on with new surroundings is very helpful. try to look forward instead of looking back. Difficult but then this will become easier.

Collaborative law should be a good way forward too. It's fairly new and I didn't use it but read on a site called divorceaid.

 

Things do get easier if you keep talking to each other.

 

Milagros

Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: Anonymous
11/01/07 at 11:25 am

If you really love your wife, my advice would be a little different from that of the others. 

My wife asked for a divorce.  She had already seen a solicitor.  I did not say how much I loved her.  That was for her to find out.  The first thing I said to her was I was not going to see a solicitor.  I know and I will tell you this.  Once both of you have seen solicitors, it is almost a point of no return. 

I spoke calmly and gently to my wife every morning and every evening.  I did not say I loved her; I did not say I will change; I did not ask her not to go.  I did tell her I will not see a solictor and if it came to it I will go to Court on my own.  I did talk to her a lot about our children.  I said I completely understood her feelings.  I did not argue against anything she said, even if I did not agree.  I did not say anything was her fault and I did not say anything was my fault.

We are still together and she says she loves me more often than she used to.  Good luck.  Never give up.  I am sure her love has not died after 21 years.  It is for you to make it grow stronger again.

Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: Richie1180
23/01/07 at 4:53 pm

I am sorry to hear you are having to through somthing similar to myself. My top tip would be to give fletchers solicitors a call. They deal with clients all over the country although they are bsaed in southport the best thing about them is the first half hour with there matrimonial team members is free. The number is 01704 546919 ask for a member of the matlegal team they are really firendly. All the best.

Face your problems intelligently

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22/10/11 at 11:57 am

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Posted by: Whitneymoore
20/06/13 at 1:44 pm

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Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: William Martin
24/06/13 at 7:28 am

Your wife doesn't look like solving the issues. Only if you make her mind up to go to the councilor then something could be done. But you say she won't agree on going to the councilor, don't you?

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Re: my wife wants to leave me

Posted by: William Martin
24/06/13 at 7:28 am

Your wife doesn't look like solving the issues. Only if you make her mind up to go to the councilor then something could be done. But you say she won't agree on going to the councilor, don't you?

_____________________________________________________
PPI Claims Made Simple