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my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: martini88
08/01/07 at 9:48 am
after 21 years of marriage my wife says she does not love me anymore )she was 22 when we married and I was 35) we have two boys 18 and 16.
She wants to leave me because she says she is not excited by me anymore , I still love her unfortunately. and have never been unfaithful to her.
I need to know my rights. I love the house we live in on the mendips which she wants to sell (we own it jointly although I bought it ) do I have to sell it ? I have offered to rent or buy her a small place so that she can live under a seperate roof , but she is not prepared to leave (she has taken advice from a solicitor)
She will not consider councelling and is making my life quite difficult by being cold , hard and quite frankly... a bully !
any advice would be helpful !
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There are currently 5 replies.
Re: my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: Anonymous
08/01/07 at 3:57 pm
Your situation is very difficult as I know only too well from my own experiences. When my husband and I were on the verge of splitting, we argued over our house. He was very keen to sell it but I wanted to stay. We were barely speaking but I managed to get a joint friend to talk to him as our children did not want to leave the family home. I do think you also need to see a solicitor as soon as possible to ascertain your rights. Knowledge is power and whilst going to a solicitor is scary, at least you may get information that would help you when dealing with your wife. If at all possible try not to get into a confrontational situation as this will make it even harder to come to some sort of agreement.
Re: my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: Dr E
08/01/07 at 5:34 pm
Re: my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: Anonymous
08/01/07 at 5:48 pm
You need to see a family law solicitor and perhaps consider mediation too. Essentially the children come first and in a long marriage, a starting point is usually 50/50 including division of property, assets and pensions. provision for the children depends on whether they are still in education.
If there is enough in the pot for you to keep the house, then some agreement could be made. If it is the largest asset, then compromise is the key word. Sometimes moving on with new surroundings is very helpful. try to look forward instead of looking back. Difficult but then this will become easier.
Collaborative law should be a good way forward too. It's fairly new and I didn't use it but read on a site called divorceaid.
Things do get easier if you keep talking to each other.
Milagros
Re: my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: Anonymous
11/01/07 at 11:25 am
If you really love your wife, my advice would be a little different from that of the others.
My wife asked for a divorce. She had already seen a solicitor. I did not say how much I loved her. That was for her to find out. The first thing I said to her was I was not going to see a solicitor. I know and I will tell you this. Once both of you have seen solicitors, it is almost a point of no return.
I spoke calmly and gently to my wife every morning and every evening. I did not say I loved her; I did not say I will change; I did not ask her not to go. I did tell her I will not see a solictor and if it came to it I will go to Court on my own. I did talk to her a lot about our children. I said I completely understood her feelings. I did not argue against anything she said, even if I did not agree. I did not say anything was her fault and I did not say anything was my fault.
We are still together and she says she loves me more often than she used to. Good luck. Never give up. I am sure her love has not died after 21 years. It is for you to make it grow stronger again.
Re: my wife wants to leave me
Posted by: Richie1180
23/01/07 at 4:53 pm
