would love some feedback

Posted by: mylee21
20/11/08 at 7:22 am

ok...so last year at this time me and my husband split up. We did not get along we pretty much hated each other..so i thought. I decided to go my seperate ways and since then i have been a freakin mess...not long after we split he started dating a new girl. For months we still hooked up and it hurt to the depth of my soul.  Everytime i would leave i would cry my eyes out all the way home and wondered why in the world i even went. But i was used to him i was used to his smell,looks,touch,meann ess,attitude,cheating and all of the above. We were together for 7 years and he was my heart and soul. We had really rough times and some good but more bad than good.

so anyways we split in november of 07.  Through the past year i have hooked up with him still. like an idiot thinking ever time that this was going to be the time that we got back together. But everytime all he would say is im sorry. so in june i met someone else and i was happy. he was the complete opposite of him and i loved that he put me first. so i cut all ties off with the husband until about a month ago and he started texting me and i figured well hell why not be friends. Well since then we have again hooked up 2.  This past time which happen to be last night really bothered me. when i was leaving in the morning he said when can i see you again i want to see you again. As i left i was ok. i didnt cry i didnt think what if. I thought im going to leave my current prefect man now and try to be with him again. What is wrong with me?? he has no itention on leaving his new girl she gives him everything he wants financially. he is so superficial it makes me sick. but when im with him its i miss you so much i love you all tht crap. so i guess my question is why cant i get over him and how can i possibly stop him cold turkey. I cant i love himo much sometimes it actually hurts in my chest. I havent gone one single day without him coming acrross my mind.  im such a mess. Im sitting here looking at my current guy sleeping and he has no idea how i feel. he is so good to me he respects me he is basically at my becken call whenever. but it seems like its not enough i need john back?? all my friends think i am a complete idiot but how can i just get over it and move on. Of course there are things w the new that i dont like but the things i HATED about the old outway the new by far.  i dont ge3t it.. am i doomed forever or just for temporary?