If you spend more time thinking about weekly reports than you do your partner, it could be time to reassess your priorities – before it’s too late. Words Ruth Doherty.

Love me love my Blackberry
Your PA is not your personal shopper
From boardroom to bedroom
A meeting you can’t miss

Gone are the days when women sat at home watching dinner get drier and colder by the hour, waiting for their husband to get home from work. Oh no. These days, women are often just as successful as their spouses, which means both partners can spend long hours away from each other due to the demands of their jobs. And, without care and attention, the “have-it-all” generation could end up meaning the opposite.
“As women have become more emancipated they have become more financially independent, impacting enormously on the reasons why women marry – and why they divorce,” explains Anastasia de Waal, head of family and education at social policy group Civitas.
Indeed, a recent study carried out at Radboud University in Holland revealed that motives for divorce have changed a great deal since the 50s. Emotional factors, like lack of attention and communication, are now far more important for both men and women.
So how can you tell whether your career is threatening to commit marriage murder, and what exactly can you do to stop it? It’s time to turn your work-work balance back in to a work-life balance.

Love me love my Blackberry
If you’ve agreed to spend some quality time with your partner and you find yourself saying you’re going to get a drink, when you’re really off to check your Blackberry, work is starting to take over. “Surreptitious email-checking is a sign that work is playing too heavily on your mind, and you’re putting the job before him,” explains Relate counsellor Paula Hall. “If you’re trying to hide the fact you’re doing work, it’s an indication you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Turn off your phone and computer, and give your partner your full attention,” she suggests.

Your PA is not your personal shopper
Okay, so it’s your partner’s birthday next week and you still haven’t bought them anything. But why is it so difficult? “If you’re struggling to come up with the perfect gift, it’s a sure sign you’re not tuned in to his or her wants or needs,” says life and business coach Hannah McNamara. “Chances are, they’ve been dropping hints and you’ve been too busy to notice. Re-discover your partner’s likes and interests. Getting your PA to come up with ideas is NOT the answer.”