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All work and no play could be a marriage-breaker
08 January 2007
From boardroom to bedroom“When there’s a lot going on at work, it’s natural for your mind to occasionally wander. But if you catch yourself mentally doing your to-do list when you’re supposed to be getting intimate, you could be experiencing relationship problems,” says Hannah. “Lose yourself in the moment and give your partner your full attention” And try not to say “I’m too tired” every single day. Make an effort or your partner may start to feel rejected.
A meeting you can’t miss
Letting your partner down at the last minute was something you never used to do, so why is it now acceptable to work all Saturday afternoon instead of going to visit your sister-in-law, like you said you would? “Breaking promises in favour of work is something you should try to avoid at all costs,” advises Paula. “If it’s happening on a regular basis, and you’re missing things together that you wouldn’t have missed a year ago, you need to reassess your priorities and think about why they’ve changed.”
It seems the old cliché “it’s good to talk” couldn’t ring truer when it comes to building happy marriages and avoiding marriage problems in such a fast-paced world. “Long working hours are ever-present, but it’s absolutely vital to spend ‘quality’ time with your partner,” says Paula. “But this isn’t just something you decide on your own. You need to negotiate together what quality time means to you both and how much of it your relationship needs to be happy and successful. For some couples this could mean one night a week eating dinner at the table together, catching up, chatting and laughing. For others this could be a weekend away together once every month – without the laptop,” says Paula. “Communication is the key.”
InsideDivorce.com recommends
- Hannah McNamara: www.hrmcoaching.com or call 020 8544 8024.
- Relate: www.relate.org.uk
- For more help with marriage problems and your relationship read articles in our work section.
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