Getting divorced can leave your confidence in tatters. But, with a few simple steps, you can get back on top of your game, says Victoria Webster.

Going through a divorce can be a physically, mentally and emotionally draining experience. What’s more, the person you could once tell anything and everything too has suddenly become someone you find difficult to speak to on any level, unless the dreaded ‘D’ word is mentioned.
Hopefully, your friends and family will be providing a great support network, giving you the opportunity to lean on others when you need to. But, as fantastic as that may be, stress, loneliness and anxiety is inevitable during arguably one of the most difficult times in your life. It’s no wonder that your confidence and self-esteem end up taking a few hefty blows along the way. And with your get-up-and-go at an all-time low, you might feel like you can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you can get life back on track. One of the most important things to consider is boosting and rebuilding your confidence and self esteem. That’s why InsideDivorce.com has teamed up with Dr Pam Spurr, psychologist and solutions coach and author of The Break-Up Survival Kit – Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single (Robson Books, £6.99) to provide you with six easy steps to help rebuild your confidence and self esteem. Here’s her top tips:

1. A 40-hour week at work is common for most of us, and this is the perfect place to begin with boosting your confidence. The next time a colleague does a job particularly well, try praising them. It’s such a simple gesture, but by showing good will and being positive to a colleague, you'll spread a positive feeling around you at work, helping you to feel better in yourself.

2. If we suffer from low self-esteem, the unknown can seem like a daunting prospect. Fear can also stop us from making changes – but changes are essential as you go through a divorce. Instead of worrying about new beginnings, see them as a challenge. At least you'll be learning something new!

3. We meet and interact with new people all the time and it’s important to remember that you will always know something they won’t. You can help yourself by helping someone new, so impart some of your knowledge to them and reap the positive rewards. They'll appreciate your kindness and you might learn something new from them in return.

4. During a divorce, many people are unable to stop living together straight away. This can obviously present some difficult situations, so try to establish a comfort zone within your home. Everyone should have a safe haven they can escape to, and if you each create a safe space for yourselves, you will have the opportunity to let off steam and de-stress without being disturbed.

5. Although it might be difficult, try to become spontaneous with people and be happier! Learn to accept spontaneous invitations and seize moments that come your way. Your social life and emotional wellbeing will be enhanced.

6. As well as all the emotional aspects of improving self-esteem and confidence, it’s important to consider the physical too. Feel better about your body by putting yourself first. Give yourself a new lease of life by getting a new haircut, having a massage or booking a personal shopper at your favourite store to give you some new wardrobe ideas. As well as helping you look and feel great, you’ll be taking your mind off everything at home, giving you a chance to unwind and relax.

By following these tips, and using the support network set out by friends and family, you can have the confidence that you will come out the other side, and know you’ll be a better person because of it.

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