Holidays are one of the most stressful times for relationships as couples deal with the pressure of spending time together. Research conducted by InsideDivorce.com reveals that September is second only to Christmas for a visit to divorce lawyers. Family expert Margaret Hatwood of Anthony Gold (www.anthonygold.co.uk) gives InsideDivorce.com her top-ten tips on getting the best results from your lawyer at this emotional time:

1. Consider mediation as a way of resolving differences as opposed to the traditional court route. Mediation necessitates going to see an independent mediator (who may not be a lawyer) and is a non-combative process. A mediator does not give legal advice but instead helps parties reach their own solutions, usually with less cost and with less damage to personal relationships within the family. The bottom line in mediation is that you have to sit with your spouse in a room with only the mediator present. Inevitably there will be some people who cannot do this.
   
   
2. Collaborative law is another alternative. Usually less expensive than the court process, this involves discussion between the parties and their lawyers at roundtable meetings and an undertaking not to begin court proceedings.. Mutual disclosure takes place and once that has been done roundtable meetings attended by both parties and their lawyers are held to try to resolve matters. It is only when an agreement is reached that one party petitions for divorce and a consent order setting out the agreement in a legally binding way is drawn up.
   
   
3. Family courts are now open to journalists following a recent change in the law. If you are in the public eye or if there are other reasons why privacy is desirable then mediation and collaborative law are especially good routes.
   
   
4. Providing your lawyer with a short written history of the marriage can save valuable time at the first appointment.
   
   
5. Many lawyers will offer a discounted initial appointment. Some even offer a free appointment. However, as with many things, the cheapest is not necessarily the best!
   
   
6. Keeping costs low is key for many couples. If funding legal costs is an issue it may be possible for your lawyer to direct you to a source of funding your legal costs. Some banks have schemes which can fund your costs. However, just like any other loan, they will often take a charge over any assets you own. Alternatively if your spouse has substantial funds at their disposal and it is envisaged that your legal costs will be high it may be possible to apply for maintenance to cover your legal costs. At the end of the day (in divorce or civil partnership financial disputes) it is probable you will pay your own legal costs. It makes sense to keep them to a minimum. (Different rules apply to heterosexual couples who live together or those same sex couples who have not entered into a registered civil partnership).
   
   
7. Some family lawyers still offer public funding (“legal aid”). If you have limited resources then contact the Law Society who will be able to let you have a list of solicitors who carry out work under the public funding scheme.
   
   
8. It pays to organise your financial documents before your initial meeting this can save time and therefore costs. Indeed, most family lawyers charge on a time basis – so this can add up if you do not have the paperwork in order.
   
   
9. The courts do not normally take bad conduct into account. It is therefore sensible to focus on the issues that really matter.
   
   
10. Check that your solicitor is an accredited specialist in family law. These solicitors have a particular expertise in family law matters and have had to sit exams and demonstrate experience in the area in which they hold a specialist qualification. If your affairs are complex then it makes sense to instruct a solicitor who has experience in dealing with high value cases.

-Margaret Hatwood
Anthony Gold Solicitors