Believe it or not, the Christmas season is the likeliest time of the year for relationship breakdown. Family lawyers have long speculated about why this should be. One explanation suggested has been that enforced togetherness over the holiday break only serves to highlight irritations which might seem minor, and consequently bearable, at other times of the year.

Other contributory factors are undoubtedly the inevitable pressures that accompany the festive preparations – shopping for and wrapping gifts to suit everyone on your list; the fact that it doesn’t matter how many cards you send, every post brings at least one from someone you have inadvertently overlooked; the frenzied cooking preparations for the day itself, the inescapable overeating of indigestible food, and the consumption of more alcohol than could possibly be good for you.

Tempers are frayed, things said and done which would, happily, be left unsaid and undone on less stressful dates. And this year, to add to all these usual strains, there is the downturn in the economy to worry about, not only giving us less to spend but also projecting the spectre of possible job loss.

You don’t really want to end up drafting or receiving a divorce petition this January.

So, in a lighthearted reference to the traditional 12 days of Christmas, let’s substitute the 12 Don’ts:

For husbands:

1. Don’t leave the cap off the toothpaste or the loo seat up.

2. Don’t discard your unwashed underwear all over the bedroom floor.

3. Don’t compare her Christmas dinner unfavourably with your mother’s.

4. Don’t buy her sexy lingerie which she would never wear – especially if it’s the wrong size.

5. Don’t promise to help with the Christmas cards and forget to let her know which ones you’ve done – meaning that some friends get two and others end up without one. 

6. Don’t leave for a quick drink with the boys before dinner is ready and come back so late that it’s ruined.

For wives:

1. Don’t promise to drive home after a party and then tell him that, actually, you’re probably over the limit yourself.

2. Don’t complain about him to family or friends.

3. Don’t denigrate him to the children.

4. Don’t finish his funny stories for him.

5. Don’t compare his physique unfavourably with David Beckham’s.

6. Don’t forget to tell him you love him occasionally.